Lately I've been really noticed characteristics in mothers around me that I admire and I'm seeing who these other people are--knowing that I am not those ways, and kind of wondering who in the heck I am. I think I was pretty clear on it as a single person...but all this being married for 5 years and having 4 sons business is putting me into a place where I now feel like I have to redefine myself altogether.
Mental organization....some things I know
I know I am not naturally gifted with super mother of the year patience....AND I know when I hang around people who are it rubs off a little and I learn from them.
I am not very good at sticking to routines....like...homeschool everyday at this certain time in this certain structure. At the same time, I really admire that and like some things about it, and sometimes think I want to do something like that.....it just never lasts very long.
I'm good at being unplanned and spontaneous and going with my mood. :) Who wouldn't be!
I know when I get out and I'm social -- I'm happier and feel more like myself.
I know that I love music and I want it to be a huge part of my families life experience and I want to touch the world with it....and give others the experience of touching the world with it.
I love time by myself.....to do anything. Read, write, play music, write music....it is especially refreshing to work on my own music or play an instrument I don't play as often i.e. guitar or drum.
I love the mountains. I love grass. I love rivers. I love going on walks at night with my husband and look forward to more of that when our kids are older. I love feeling in touch with the earth in general--through anything--being outside a lot, eating lots of things from the earth. I love that feeling of being connected to the earth. I love the sun!
I love speaking and teaching on spiritual/gospel topics.
I feel like this whole spiritual part of myself....the part that is tuned into more subtle spiritual energies has been sleeping for a while. I feel like there is a realm that was there that is missing....and maybe that's okay. Maybe nothing is broken and it's just a different phase of my growth....but I miss it.
Family home.....times up. :) Possibly to be continued....
2 comments:
I know what you mean, Am! Granted I only have 1 child, but I think it is easy and somewhat typical for mom's to feel like they are losing what is unique about them because so much of a mother's time is spent being a mom. That's why some planned YOU time is SO important.....for me too.... thank heaven's for nap time. I can tell you who you are :) --you are a natural leader, a woman who loves to LEARN continuously, a great mother and wife, an amazing musician, spontaneous, a lover of anything outside, a great example of standing up for what you believe in and doing what is right no matter what people think, and a great daughter AND sister. Love you Am! I think you need some alone time--any mom does! Talk with Justin and make up at least a few minutes every day once the kids are asleep JUST for you..... Love you!!
AMEN to what Mandy said!! : ) xoxo
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