First I had to make a family flag for scout camp. I stressed and stressed over getting it done, but when it came time to work on it, I LOVED doing it and was happy with how it turned out. I remembered that I like to draw.....a lot. Creating visual art is fun and fulfilling! Then AT camp I was able to play guitar and sing a song I wrote. What was slightly more remarkable was the set up. All week long we were singing silly cub scout camp songs, well sing-screaming sort of, and after a while that can really get a person out of their shell. :) The night I shared my song a lot of that silliness was happening and it really helped to loosen me up--to the point that my nerves weren't too bad, so I wasn't pitchy! Yea for no pitchiness because there was a time just a couple months ago that my nerves were a little out of control and I couldn't pull my pitch to where I could hear it needed to go. Crazy, annoying, and disappointing. Anyway, yea for positive experiences sharing my music!
THEN, AFTER camp there was a Relief Society activity and someone spoke about being ourselves. Doing what we love and what we want and doing it with confidence WITHOUT comparing ourselves to anyone else.....the little inner artist stirred some more. Because yes! I remember! I love drawing and painting and music and SHARING music, and jamming with friends and doing art projects with my kids and Sanskrit chanting. Ha! Random insert, but it's true! Haven't done that one for a LONG time. And who cares how it compares to others or what people think if I LOVE it!
This past week, I was super, super inspired. The family and I headed to the Oregon coast to see Justin's mama and her hubby, and play with cousins. We've been there several times before, but not for 7 years (because I'm old and I say things like that.) (Oh, and I've been married a long time-lol.) Anyway, the ocean and the trees and the rivers and the cities on the way----quick rewind-----Boise. Did you know that in downtown Boise, Idaho all of the electrical boxes have artwork on them? I love it so much! Who does that!? Who knew that Boise was so artsy? My husband is super wonderful and suggested we take our 6 children (9 and under) to downtown Boise at 9:30 pm for some ice cream and to walk around a little. I love that we both love the city and the country. A match made in heaven. ;)
So, back to Oregon, I think the coast is filled with artists because it was definitely filled with galleries. There were several more that I wanted to go into, but the ones I saw had so much beautiful, fun, colorful, expressive work. I loved so many pieces so much! And the crystals! There were crystals everywhere too, which I also love......and long, flowy skirts made in India. I wish I had taken pictures of some of the artwork so it could continue to inspire me. I took my guitar with us to Oregon and got in a little singing and playing AND I got to play an awesome antique organ that you have to pump the feet to get the air through the pipes. So cool! At home I keep myself too busy to play much music for shear enjoyment. Pretty sure something needs to change.
On the drive home I was thinking about that artwork and thinking about what I want to create. (Part of my daily stress is already trying to creep in and say, how will I ever have time for this? This is the artist killer.) So I have a lot of fun ideas that I'll have to play with for some visual art. I also was really picking out the drum part on a song during the drive and remembering how fun the drums are. I love drums! My friend in high school played and I got to play on them a little. I played on some in Mexico too, at a little restaurant on a road trip with friends when I was in my 20's . So.....kind of itching to play around on some drums. Also Justin wants me to learn a few specific songs on the ukulele for fun sing-alongs, so I have a little music assignment there. :) That's always good.
Dislclaimer: The rest of this is pretty self indulgent and is really just meant to get the thoughts out. You may bore yourself if you continue.
In high school I remember thinking that I wanted to be really proficient on 5 instruments and fluent in 5 languages. Also in high school I had an easel and I did several pretty time consuming paintings. I also did more writing.....poetry mostly. I guess that was my inner lyricist.
Oh, and just to get another musical goal out there--I want to be better at playing piano by ear. I want to be able to hear what the chord changes are either in a song or in a song that I'm writing and know where to go. A lot of times I sort of intuitively know where to go from feeling it or getting lucky, but I want to be able to hear--oh that's a I chord to a V chord or a IV to a V or whatever. And I want it to become a no brainer after that--at first something I hear and specifically think out in that key and get to that next chord without much hesitation, and eventually just an easy, natural flow between chords because hearing it is EASY and my fingers knowing all the shifts in all the keys is EASY. That's where I'd like to be.
I want to improve on guitar as well. For that I just want to start with knowing all of the major and minor chords. I know the most frequently used major and minor chords right now, but for others I have to pull out my tab book.
Mostly I want to create. I want to create music, and share it. I want to write poems, and stories, and songs. I want to create drawings and paintings. I want to read more books and spend more time enjoying my children. I want to clean less! I want less stuff! (Good luck with that one!) I think I want to do motivational type speaking wrapped up with my music. And I want to do these things for a purpose. I want them to glorify God and to help others feel shaken out of a deep sleep, to help others remember who they are and why they are here. I want to do these things for family, for my kids, to make them feel special and loved. If mom spends time creating something special for you, I think that means a lot.....especially if that thing expresses that I SEE THEM and know THEM.
It's time for this part of me to come out again--with confidence.