In three days I will be 40 weeks pregnant with my 6th baby, and 7th son. Today was Justin and I's 10 year anniversary, and Easter is in two days. As you can imagine, I've had a few thoughts rolling through my brain.
First off, I can't believe that I've already done this having a baby thing 5 other times! I've done this before!? I don't remember EVER feeling SO done, so consistently uncomfortable, and exhausted--especially BEFORE my due date! This is crazy. I also can't believe that this might not be the last time! What!? May the amnesia of these experiences set in quickly. With baby one, and possibly baby two and three, I don't think I ever felt done. I KNOW I didn't with baby one. I had no idea what people were talking about. He came 10 days early and weighed 6 lbs 4 oz. There's definitely a difference in how you feel with how large the baby is! Here's the run down of my babies thus far:
Joshua--10 days early, 6 lbs 4 oz
16 months later
Austin--4 days early, 8 lbs 6 oz
19 months later
Avin--about 4 days early, 7 lbs 8 oz
25 months later (long right!?)
Jonathan--2-3 days late, 9 lbs 10 oz
20 months later
August--2 days late, 9 lbs
and now--about 2.5 years later
Today I was feeling kind of depressed and down on myself.....ya know, feeling like this child is never going to be born and I'm going to be super uncomfortable 24/7 for the rest of my life. I've also had an affirmation going through my mind a lot the past couple days to try to curb the negativity, "I can do hard things." I was mostly thinking it in preparation for labor, but today I realized that my hard thing right now, is NOT going into labor. The hard thing now, is trusting in the Lord's timing and being patient. I pulled out a new little book I bought and played through the song "Gethsemane" that I was going to talk about and sing with the kids later in the morning. I pretty much cried instantly. These words are so beautiful and reminded me that Christ went through so much more than what I'm going through.