Learning About ADHD

I've been learning a lot about ADHD the past 6 months.  I could say I've been learning a lot about it since I got married.  My hubby has ADD, my step son has ADD, and very likely many, if not all of our 7 other children have either ADD or ADHD.

When I was 20 I did an online school called The School of Natural Healing.  I learned about natural healing through nutrition and herbs.  At the time that I did this schooling (year 2000), this school taught that ADD isn't a real thing, but it's just a sign of not getting enough attention from the father.  This was what I was taught and I didn't know any different.  I didn't really form a firm opinion on it because I hadn't been exposed to it much.

Fast forward 20 years and I most definitely recognize ADD as a condition that effects the brains of many people and alters their ability to focus, control their emotions, process information in general, and often so much more.  Often dyslexia and ADD are linked.  Often anxiety or depression and ADD are linked.

ADD manifests itself quite differently in every person in my family, and it is REALLY tricky for me to figure out how to navigate as a mom.  (Sometimes the wife part is tricky too.)  In several people in my rather large family, a temper can raise up seemingly out of nowhere for no obvious reason.  There is a marked lack of patience in several people who struggle with ADD in our home--including a lack of patience with others who act very much the same as them.

I am in the midst of researching how to naturally assist those who have fairly manageable ADD in the family.  There are vitamins and herbal supplements that can help them feel more calm and focused.  I'm reading my FIRST book on ADD, Delivered From Distraction, and I'm sure I will keep researching more and more. 

I know that knowing how to deal with these challenges is important for me as the mom.  My challenge is dealing with some of the INTENSITY in our home while myself struggling with some generalized anxiety and sensory sensitivity.  Imagine feeling your most stressed out and anxious with 6 LOUD and active (and often super contentious) boys (and their friends) fluttering around---and making messes.  I sometimes just need to cry, or yell, or punch something.  I usually end up barking orders to people to clean stuff, or for everyone to go play outside if I'm at melt down point.

Intensity and sibling rivalry are another thing I'm learning about.  Apparently brains with ADD thrive on conflict because it pulls them into the present moment and out of boredom or apathy.  So if you want to pick a fight with someone (say a brother) with ADD, they'll jump right into it with you every time--intensely.  They also are often super sensitive to getting their feelings hurt (because low self esteem can come with this), and seem to respond to that with BIG anger as well.  And then there's me--with my sensitivity to noise levels and negativity (empath) trying to keep my head on straight enough to talk some sense into people and calm them down.  Sometimes it's all I can do to just keep myself calm and separate myself from the situation.

Anyway, I feel relieved to be starting to learn and understand how the brains in my family work because that is the beginning of the path that leads to understanding which hopefully leads to me being a better mom for them.